Thursday, November 8, 2012

11/8 Donning the Deerstalkers Again

Now that things are operational again after the storm...

Well, colour me dizzy from trying to make sense of Tuesday. Why now, of all times? In part, I suppose we can be thankful that the Forces of Evil miscalculated after 2008 and thought they'd be better off rebuilding in 2010, when their incursion into blue states probably could have succeeded. But I have concluded that the answer could well be Spain, the one blatant exception to the glittering example of Scandinavia and near-Scandinavia in the Euro-equality catalogue. If RC Spain can out-equal France (a little like Sonny outscoring Cher on the Awesome Parent Test), then I suppose it isn't surprising that the increased Hispanic vote could have been enough to tip the scale this time around, even if the Grand Declaration of Support didn't move the African-American vote all that materially. Perhaps the truly weird thing is that Minnesota undecideds didn't break in the traditional direction (almost everyone was being at best guarded about Minnesota), but that speculation must wait for another time.

Once again, we have to wonder why a LW chose to consult the Prudecutor this week. And this letter is perhaps even more of a puzzle. The Prudecutor has proved many times over that she knows virtually nothing about gay social circles. Much of her commentariat is in the same boat. This is a vastly less assimilated LW than the BF of the Deeply Closeted Actor of recent past, which raises a number of ideas. If he is deliberately consulting someone who is not the most knowledgeable of the known likely choices to tackle the question, then I shall diagnose an ideological difference with Mr Savage, especially as this doesn't really seem to be one of those questions where a LW's choice of adviser seems designed to result in that LW receiving permission to do what (s)he wanted to do all along. I shall diagnose the LW as a likely Log Cabin Republican rather than a full-on GoProud type. GoProuders are more assimilationist than LCRs.If the LW has less disagreement with Mr Savage over politics than I'm guessing, then their circle is likely to be more singles-oriented or singles-accepting than that of his counselor of choice. Mr Savage appears to socialize in a highly couple-centric environment, where a single person such as the PWA was would perhaps stick out badly. The LW's social circle appears to be flexible, perhaps of the sort with a core group of people who pair and unpair from time to time without materially changing the overall constitution and tenor of the group.

The group dynamic can be vital with certain types of gay men. This is one main reason why I might marvel to such an extent over the choice of someone so out of the loop to consult. It is, perhaps oddly, rather more Sex and the City than Tales of the City. But, even so, there are still things one wonders. Why, for instance, did the subject go so long unraised with the friend? It would seem the sort of thing that a support circle would be quite likely to raise rather early on in the dating cycle. Another point largely missed by the Prudecutor is that everybody else in the group  is backing the silent route, which, if this were a straight circle, would definitely suggest that there may well be something of which only LW1 is unaware. But this is less the usual pattern for gay circles than it is for straight ones. It certainly makes one wonder whether the group as a whole is so cavalier in general in the matter of the health of a member's partner. Is this standard operating procedure for the group as a whole? Is PWA1 a first for the assembled company?

Of the possible approaches, LW1 could just up and tell ARBF1 directly, could mention it in passing as if taking it as a given that the Revelation had been made, could hold Standard Blackmailing Conversation #42 with PWA1, could hold a non-confrational conversation with PWA1, could ask individual friends about their chosen course of action or could even call a group meeting. It would really be advisable to know more about the particular dynamics of this particular group before trying to select one from a number of paths. As far as the legal issue is concerned, well, the less LW1 appears to know about that, probably the better all around.

Moral: "Knowledge of the law is generally a bit of a handicap to a barrister."

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